Wednesday, April 29, 2009
all i did was try to talk to you properly since you've been complaining i haven't been doing that for a long time. we had to end up quarrelling. you used to talk about morals and ethics. what happened? are results really that important? have you ever considered what i want? you impose your dreams on me, have you ever wondered if i am happy? i appear nonchalant about my studies. to you, i never ever touch my piano / brush up on my work. you don't see what i do in school, do you? i hate the piano so much, cos everytime i practise, you almost always say my playing's bad. everytime i study, you'll scold me for sleeping late. my life doesn't just revolve around school and studies... do you really understand me? you always say it's ok as long as i try my best. sometimes i really tried my best, but what comes out is just far from your expectations. how do you know i am not disappointed? when i appear not to be, you say i can't be bothered about my results. when i show i am upset, you chide me saying i didn't put in enough effort. how do you know? you ask me to speak up if i am wronged. when i do, you say i talk back to you. you ask me to explain myself. when i do, you say i am finding excuses. whatever happens, i am always in the wrong. it's ok, i am used to it. you don't love me, you love my results, you love my ability to play the piano, you love me for the ideal person you want me to be, you love me for the dreams you have for me. i'm sorry, i know i fall short of your expectations. i know i disappoint you, i know i am hopelessly useless, i know i will never be the on you want me to be. i'm sick and tired of this life. perhaps i exist in the wrong world.
rachel ♥
8:51 PM
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