Saturday, January 30, 2010
you can erase someone from your mind. getting them out of your heart is another matter.
All I want right now is to stone and do nothing and wake up from this nightmare. It's a nightmare i cannot handle, something i cannot win. I thought I was finally getting better, and i thought that if i could just keep emphasising to myself, it'd sink in and i'd accept it. but I'm too weak and hopeless, and nothing i do can turn the situation i've landed myself in, around. I can't turn back time, not anymore.
Can't let go -- Mariah Carey
There you are holding her hand
I am lost
Dying to understand
Didn't I cherish you right?
Don't you know you were my life?
Even though I try
I can't let go
Something in your eyes
Captured my soul
And every night
I see you in my dreams
You're all I know
I can't let go
Just cast aside
You don't even know I'm alive
You just walk on by
Don't care to see me cry
And here I am
Still holding onI can't accept
My world is gone
No, no
Do you even realize the sorrow I have inside
Everyday of my life?
Do you know the way it feels
When all you have just dies?
I try and try to deny that I need you
But still you remain on my mind
Oh no I just can't get you out of my mind
I never can say goodbye
why don't you know? why don't you feel the way i do? why is it like that? why.....
rachel ♥
9:15 PM
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Thursday, January 28, 2010
the world doesn't stop revolving just because of you one person. it's high time you snap out of this, rachel tang. and it's been proven further -- unwanted, unneeded, unnoticed, invisible, uncared for, unimportant, insignicant. anw, cold warring with my grandfather, over a reason which i myself don't know. grrr. aiya whatever. no difference.my biggest birthday wish: for me to be able to say all these don't matter.
rachel ♥
12:00 AM
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Thursday, January 21, 2010
kupped this from jyz's blog. haha. ohwells. GP timed assignment tmr argh. and tmr's full of only CSC, GP and MEP. subjects which require ALOT of writing and long attention spans. (ok larh not that math and chem don't but at least they are more 'logical' and have correct answer sigh) ohwells. i haven't been reading the papers although i always say i will do so the next day. stupid rachel tang how to improve your GP / CSC like that HUHHHHH. practised piano for 2 hours today before+during+after prac lesson with mrs ang, what can i say? can't believe abt 2 months have passed since my last piano lesson with mr ku, and this is what 2 months of inconsistent practising has done to me. if i hadn't tried today, wouldn't know that it's that bad now.. oh whatever. flopped the first test of the year anw, won't be surprised to see a single digit reflected. argh failure failure failure. darn.
it's not that i want to... but, i alr have, when i know i can't afford to, and shouldn't. whyyyyy...
rachel ♥
8:07 PM
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
when i see you like that, i just want to go forward and help you, and fulfil the things i said i would... but i don't know if you want me to..cheer up, ok?
in righting the wrong, no more wrong should be done. am i going down the wrong path?
rachel ♥
10:59 PM
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Wednesday, January 6, 2010
why can't i do it? why why why why why. maybe this state isn't that bad. drifting away won't worry as much people, not like there were that many who cared anw haha. just 359 more days to the end of the year. can't wait. this time, i am going to do nothing to save it. i'm not worth it haha. if things are not meant to come, they won't happen no matter what. no matter how long you wait, how much you do, nothing will change. why can't you freaking understand that rachel tang? how you're feeling now is totally brought upon by yourself. this is what you deserve. and only you yourself can get yourself out of this freaking mess. don't you get it? how hopeless can you get. time will heal all wounds. really? it just gets worse, not better. why rachel why. why can't you just freaking do what you know is right. it's not like you are in denial. you know it! you can rationalise it! BUT WHY CAN'T YOU FREAKING CONVINCE YOURSELF TO THINK THAT WAY. YOU SUCK YOU KNOW. ARGH.
and there's just one more burning question, which i really want an answer too. do you, still?
rachel ♥
11:35 AM
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