Saturday, September 5, 2009
i don't know what's wrong with me either. i don't know how i feel anymore. i don't understand myself. and i should stop deluding myself by watching dramas. what's the point of saying, when we can't do what we set out to? what's the point of feeling, when the only feelings you feel are negative? what's the point of knowing, when you know but can't do anything about it? i thought i didn't need anything, not you, not them, not anyone... but again, i have been proven wrong. we might be close in distance, but yet i feel even more distant. when i make up my mind to do something, i give my very best. really, i do. but somehow, my best is not enough. and what matters, no longer matters anymore. ultimately, in life things come and go. and when we leave, we leave with nothing either. it's a kind of unexplainable emptiness. i know i need to snap out of this, but i really have no more strength to. it hurts to pretend, but after awhile, habits form, and facades become comforable. such is life. try it once, try it twice, try it thrice... one fine day, what you never expected to happen, will somehow be ethced in your mind as the truth. which even if you are the only one in the world who believes it, at least you can try convincing yourself. which is an uphill task, because ultimately, you know you can't get past yourself. rt,ys.bt.
rachel ♥
6:58 PM
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