Tuesday, May 11, 2010
haha thanks... you confirmed sth which i knew vry long ago but refused to face up to. how am i feeling now? disappointed? haha wht right do i have to be? used to failure till a point of tiredness and nonchalence? haha honestly, maybe... pushing it on 'magic' will seem somewhat irresponsible, but i've really lost it. it doesn't come as easily as it does anymore. what used to be sth i love is now a chore. i don't have the ability, and the confidence and conviction, or passion to continue with it. and do it well. wht used to be sth i somewhat did well in, something i could be proud of -- now, it's just another addition to my long list of failures. don't look up to me, don't say it's ok.. cos i know it's not. i don't deserve anything. and perhaps it's time to reconsider those decisions. back to ground zero. nothing left.
and i really don't want to do it, anymore.
rachel ♥
10:23 PM
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