Saturday, March 19, 2011
it's during the 'sometimes', when i so badly want someone to talk to, that you always happen to, not be there.
nope, you can't hear me.
rachel ♥
11:46 PM
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Friday, January 28, 2011
it's been kinda long since i last updated here so i doubt anyone will come here anymore.. right? so many things have happened in the past year, from the biggest hurdle of A levels down to the things which once seemed so big and important to me but now, upon looking back, i realise how stupid and foolish i was. many lessons learnt, through the hard way, and i've never ever found the answer i want, but perhaps time really heals all wounds, or maybe i'm forcing myself to believe in that with conviction. the pain has dissolved, but the scar remains. it's evident that people move on, so why can't i do the same on my part? and as usual, i always cause my own predicaments :X how stupid. remember this lesson, and never allow yourself to fall again in this manner. you can't afford it, you know it yourself. which explains why...
teaching internship has been really tiring but fun in a way actly, getting to meet new ppl (fellow interns you'en hweetian daphne!!) and also students who are actly super funny. yup they do mug, but actly i dont think they are that diff from dh. students are still students, just as playful, just as childlike, just as funny in their own rights. i actly miss dh, cos now i no longer have legitimate reasons to see some ppl who i wish to, cos after all, we belong to diff leagues in life, don't we? and our paths may well nvr cross again. but nevertheless, learn to give thanks for all i have, cos i never know when they will be taken away from me as well. some ppl really treat me much better than i ever deserve. ohwells. haha seems super emo, but i'd rather think of it being reflective.
cny's coming soon, then vday, but this year seems diff in that certain ppl are going into the army soon, and i also wonder whether some will rmbr... cny cny. everytime i say i'm gna start afresh. but i never can. this time, i'd better make it. i'm gna go overseas anw. i have to. the few years away will make that diff. so i have to do all i can to secure that. argh. the complexities of life.
rachel ♥
8:31 AM
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Sunday, October 24, 2010
and what i'm looking for (and really want / need), is still that sense of security, which even i, can no longer give myself. 14 days to the exam that determines my future. and the question to ask is, what on earth am i still doing here. argh.
rachel ♥
9:07 PM
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Sunday, September 19, 2010
即使我有多么不开心，那又怎么样？
rachel ♥
6:05 PM
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Thursday, September 9, 2010
ALL HAIL H3 AND PRELIMS!
i should srsly start praying harder. and hope a miracle happens. whee!
and what i didn't want to happen, is happening again. just great.
life rocks ^^
so not.
there's so much i wna rant about and everything. i actly had the intention of typing non-stop or sth to vent my anger. aiya but staring at the blank H3 doc i know this isn't where i should be. darn.
farewell, world. and to whoever is still reading this, GO STUDY! haha jiayou everyone (:
rachel ♥
10:27 PM
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Sunday, August 1, 2010
ONLY LOVE Lyrics - TRADEMARK
ONLY LOVE Lyrics - TRADEMARK: "2 a.m. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can say - try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trust
[Chorus]
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our good-bye"
rachel ♥
12:35 AM
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everything is pouring down. and i'd love to deny, but i really cannot handle it. i just want to get out of all these.
there's now this mechanism in me.. i find it very hard to open up. either i don't want to appear weak, don't want to burden people, or yup, i'm afraid of getting hurt. they always say the toughest shell hides the weakest interior. i don't want to put up a front anymore. i feel terrible, but i can't put it in words. and there's actly one more thing i'm 'stressed' about. but that's sth i can nvr voice out. that's sth, i can nvr tell anyone. i don't understand myself anymore.
rachel ♥
12:26 AM
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